Translated by AI model Qwen/Qwen3-8B.
Source Language: Simplified Chinese, Target Language: english, Translation Time: 2026-05-01 03:55
.AI translation is for reference only. Accuracy is not guaranteed, please refer to the original text.
I got along well with P, Z, and Q in the previous semester.
Being with them, I sometimes had a lot of fun.
But sometimes I felt a bit down.
Q is very talkative and good at flirting with girls. I also envied him, as he handled interpersonal relationships well.
But sometimes he always talked happily with the other two, while I was just like an air person or a wooden figure on the side, unable to speak up, which made me feel quite embarrassed.
When they talked, I was often just a listener.
It seems everyone in the class knows how to play cards and has a mobile phone and WeChat. But since I don't have any of these, I felt like an outsider. Since childhood, I've been taught that these things are like floods and demons, harmful to people and affecting studies. Yet almost everyone in the class has them and owns them?
When they played cards together, joining in made me feel like a "noob" or a "dud." Leaving them felt like I was out of place. No matter what, I always felt awkward, and I just couldn't learn how to play cards.
Later, during the holidays, the four of us created a QQ group. At first, I spoke quite a lot in the group, but soon I gradually spoke less. During the Spring Festival, they sent red envelopes in the group and sometimes played games together. But I ignored all of that, since I didn't have a phone or WeChat to grab red envelopes. I couldn't play or understand games like group gaming or landlord. On New Year's Eve, while they chatted in the group, I couldn't join in at all. I even blocked the QQ notifications and spent the long night alone listening to music. It was really lonely and isolated.
I think I'm pretty bad. I lack Q's social skills, don't have a phone or WeChat, can't play games, have no topics to talk about, and my grades are poor. I don't know anything and am nothing.
These feelings of being ignored and buried have always been with me.
Now, I feel there's a defect or problem in my mind.
I think I'm pitiful, but there's a saying, "Pitiful people must have something to hate," so I'm a hateful person.
Afterword
2024-05-13 I haven't complained about Q.
NAME MD5 value
| NAME | MD5 |
|---|---|
| P | 22DAEB3B84A4A2051FA692C7C1D6937A |
| Z | 9837D2C9F141E057E8BF58886665B567 |
| Q | 58B210694B5986E7415C80F5AB809BCC |
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