Translated by AI model Qwen/Qwen3-8B.
Source Language: Simplified Chinese, Target Language: english, Translation Time: 2026-05-01 03:07
.AI translation is for reference only. Accuracy is not guaranteed, please refer to the original text.
2025 Annual Review
PS: It feels like I haven't written a blog in a long time.
Today is New Year's Day, wishing everyone a happy New Year!
I hope that in the new year, I can wake up naturally every day without any trouble. Since entering senior high school, I've felt like there hasn't been a single day without feeling tired and sleepy.
It's already 2026, reflecting on what happened in 2025, but I find that my memories of 2025 seem to only include the past few months. The first half of the year feels as if it never existed. I don't know if it's because my memory has declined since entering senior high school or if I've intentionally chosen to forget.
Let me talk about some experiences and changes I've had since entering senior high school.
Study
In elementary school, sixth grade, the teacher said that the "primary school to middle school entrance exam" was our first major test in life; in middle school, the teacher constantly emphasized the importance of the middle school entrance exam, saying "the college entrance exam can be retaken, but the middle school entrance exam is only once"; by high school, the college entrance exam naturally became "years of hard study, just for that one college entrance exam." The college entrance exam is considered a turning point in one's life, a dividing line.
Feeling that the exams are becoming increasingly important, and the weight of family expectations is growing heavier. Exams are like climbing one mountain after another, with the mountains getting taller and taller, and the "college entrance exam" is like a solitary peak that seems impossibly tall, with no summit visible even from a distance, and the path is winding without any pattern.
Since entering the first year of high school, my grades have dropped from the top hundreds to well beyond the thousandth place. My scores in all subjects have been steadily declining like oil leaking out. My math score of over 100 has fallen to an unexpected 60-70, my English has always been incomprehensible, and chemistry is now all about guesswork. I feel very tired and scared of the college entrance exam, but the countdown to it is mercilessly shortening day by day.
Senior high school is also very tiring. Since entering senior high school, classes have become even more exhausting and sleepy. Previously, I thought "daydreaming" was just a metaphor for unattainable fantasies, but I never imagined that I could actually dream during the day. During the brief eight minutes of break, I would lean heavily on the table, exhausted and drowsy, and fall asleep instantly, then immediately enter a dream, where anything might happen, but often I dreamt of the bell ringing, lifting my head to start class, yet in reality I was still asleep and dreaming.
Later, it became a kind of "hallucination" during class. When I felt sleepy, I would try hard to stay alert and focus on the lessons. However, I realized that I was actually listening, able to clearly see the teacher writing one character after another, or highlighting keywords while doing exercises, eliminating one option after another. These "teachers" and "questions" were so clear and detailed, but I might suddenly wake up, realizing I had been staring at the ceiling for several minutes and then seamlessly fall back into sleep.
Studying is very tiring, very sleepy, and my grades are not good either. I'm very scared, and I wonder what I should do on the day of the college entrance exam.
Friends and Relationships
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